Reading - Thoughts from a year ago

I had stopped blogging for a while and also stopped reading, but I came across a post about a collection of shorts (almost mini-documentaries) on bookstores in Taiwan.  I love bookstores for some reason.  I haven't read a lot, but walking through a bookstore and just browsing the books gives me some feeling that I might stumble upon something unique or great.  So, after watching a couple of these "mini-docs", it indirectly introduced me to a Taiwanese drama called "Lovestore at the Corner" 巷弄裡的那家書店.  I don't usually watch Taiwanese dramas as they usually are not that great (same kind of story lines, acting is average at best), but this one was intriguing.  It uses poetry and quotes from books to enhance what the characters are feeling or to convey a thought.

The drama I know is not for everyone, but I liked it except the ending (I won't spoil it)...It was just disappointing, it really wasn't a satisfying ending and although it tried to convey one last message, it screwed the feelings you have for the rest of the story.

However, despite the ending, this really got me inspired to read again...but not non-fiction like I have been reading, but fiction and more specifically, literature.  Haruki Murakami is mentioned several times and he's an author I've been meaning to read but did not.  Not until now.

I've come across Murakami several times before and have just never gotten around to reading his books or shorts.  I first came across his book IQ84 in the bookstore at the airport several years ago.  I thought it was so interesting that this Japanese writer had his novels translated to English (as it doesn't happen very often) and is well received.  I thought to myself that upon getting home I'd check it out at the library but never did.  Then years later through one of the bloggers I read, she wrote an amazing post that incorporated an excerpt of one of his stories and then again was intrigued.  In the end, I didn't pick up a book.  Then, the drama references his books and it makes me think.  Something is telling me to pick up a book of his.  If you have ever read The Alchemist then you know what I mean when I started to feel like something in this world is telling me something.

I picked up the Elephant Vanishes from the library, a collection of short stories as I thought that was a good place to start since each story wouldn't take too much time rather than investing a lot of time on a novel I might hate (plus, I didn't want to wait for one of his more popular books).

The stories are very unique and most have kept my attention from beginning to end.  To be honest, some stories just go over my head, but there was one called "Sleeping" that I thought was quite good.  It broached the question of routine, expectations of a wife/mother, and the internal conflict we may feel.  When a female gets married, there may or may not be a change to how much time we spend on ourselves.  But, when a female has a child there is often change...change in that the female gives up her own desires and life for her family - or at least puts it on hold.  For those that have not experienced this, it may sound strange and it's not in every case, but many of the mothers I know give so much of themselves that we forget to take care of ourselves, forget to do the things that we once enjoyed, forget to do the things that make us happy aside from making our family happy.

Don't get me wrong, I love having a child, but your life slowly revolves around their well-being.   To have dinner by 6pm so you can get them to sleep by 8 which means no late nights out, no midnight drives to a Chinese restaurant for food, no going to certain restaurants because it's not kid friendly.  Sure, you can hire a babysitter, but then how many people can you trust?  At what age?  How often?  Now, those that have parents they can leave their children with do not know how lucky they are...to have a night out with your significant other is amazing!

Even the food you eat is dictated by your child unless you decide to make 2 separate meals all the time.  I had thoughts that I would feed my child a variety of foods and flavours and textures but you know what...it didn't always work out that way.  She would take one bite and spit it out.  She would look at it and not even want to try it.  You spend an hour making something and she doesn't eat it...then you got to find something else, a back up.  Meal time takes longer than expected.  She eats certain vegetables but if the texture is not right, she doesn't want it.  You decide, fine, don't eat but as a mother you know she'll be hungry later and then what?  Say to a hungry toddler, no, there is nothing you didn't eat dinner?  You serve fruit and then it is bedtime...but then you worry she didn't get enough protein or nutrients...(This is my own experience and maybe just me, but I definitely applaud those parents that have a less stressful experience.)

The list goes on...

But, having a child has rewards that are unquantifiable and I would never give it up. However, at some point you start to realize...I used to do this...or we used to enjoy doing that...or you wonder, what makes you YOU?

Most often when you meet people for the first or second time, people will often ask what you like to do...there would be lots of things I would come up with and I'd be actively doing those things.  But now, I could tell people I still like those things but just don't do them now - other priorities.  When we define ourselves, how is it that we define ourselves?  By what we do as a living?  By what we like to do in our free time?  How about what inspires us?

Anyway, I wrote this about a year ago. 

Life has gotten more challenging and many of my hobbies are still on the back-burner, but it's all about balance.  One thing I'd like to say is this year I've come across some poetry and in various and surprising places, the praise for writings by Marcel Proust.  So, I thought it was high time I published this post just to share something a little more personal.  I'm currently reading another non-fiction book called Flavor as food and science always interest me, but reading fiction and poetry is something I think I need more of these days.